September 15th 2015
Dear stargirl,
I tell you I am proud of you. You
tell me you are sick of me. It’s okay if you don’t listen to me now, but you
will someday. Maybe you will in 5 years time.
Although your future doesn’t look
too bleak, there are some things that you should know about, both about yourself
and about the world, just to make your path a little clearer, a bit less bumpy
on the go. Firstly, it’s okay to not fit in. There is no need to compare
yourself to the other girls. Don’t be jealous of their longer legs or their
curvy waist or there expensive clothes because every girl you’ve met has
compared themselves to you. Love the bits that are you such as your big eyes,
your tall physique and your unwavering love for books instead of clothes. Secondly,
take your time with everything. You love to act without thinking and talk
without processing and it’s cute for a while but makes you seem a bit hotheaded
in the long run. Thirdly, a life without purpose and structure is as good as
none. You will find yourself lost at times wondering why you are even bothering
with a high school education (a notion you will find absolutely absurd later
on) and how to not be a passenger in life. The latter stems a bunch of other
questions that are too profound to answer at the moment. I doubt you will ever
be able to conclude on anything solid but you’ll get close.
A few years later you’ll be making
a move and it will be quite an important journey in your teenage life. The
first week of class at your new school will be pretty bad. You (almost) lose
your bus fare, get lost in the huge school (or what it seemed so then) and miss
your friends terribly. Your first bus ride to UBC will seem like such a big
achievement at the time, but soon you will wish to be back home where school is
just a mere 15 minutes away instead of a whole hour. But you are not so young
anymore, as much as you try to hide it.
The long commute hours will be
exhausting I’m sure. But learning tiredness is good for you. You haven’t tasted
true fatigue yet. And you will learn about loneliness and the feeling of
unfamiliarity and uncertainty in those long hours on the bus in the winter and
so when your friends complain to you about being lonely because they have no
one to hang out with over the weekend you will know that it runs deeper than
that.
You know what though? Even if it
never rains but it pours, there are plenty of pockets of sunshine in between
and the more of those you collect, the less dreary those wet days will seem.
You will make friends, fall in love, and do well in classes (and do not so well
in other classes). You will join the badminton team, Student Council and
Debate. But remember this, you can’t do everything. As unsatisfying as it is to
not be able to fit all the classes you want on your schedule or having to
sacrifice video games for extracurricular activities, you simply don’t have the
energy (physically and mentally) to shoulder everything at the same time.
Always so self-conscious and camera
shy eh? You should learn to be on the other side of the lens. It’s important
not to be anonymous in this world. Also, learn to speak up, if not physically
then through your writing. Do you not love to write? Did you not want to become
an author? When you harbour your dreams long enough, they stay dreams. Set the
sails, quickly, before the wind dies.
You will read a lot of books, watch
a lot of movies and videos, listen to a lot of songs and try a lot of new
things that will inspire you. You love to quote from books, movies and songs
alike and sometimes you get overwhelmed. What you will learn over the years is
that it’s okay to let go. Put that book down if you’re not enjoying it (you
really are not obligated to finish every book you pick up, really, it’s ok to
not finish a book) and quit the job or position if you don’t feel passionate
about what you are doing because although the universe might not revolve around
you, you, do. And that’s all that matters.
Laugh a lot, cry a little, growing up is risky, sometimes an uphill
battle. Slow down and catch your breath. Slow down you will make it there. Slow
down, your life doesn’t end here.
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